Fuck. My. Life.

Medicaid won't give me HUNDREDS of dollars cuz they found out I worked for one day. Oops!!! They're out to get me. The whole damn system. Gimme my $600!!!

 I'm seeing this guy who...let's say he's a construction worker who's into some kinky stuff. But he's a playa. Not a player, but a PLAYA. He likes me, I like him; but he sees like three people a day. Guys and girls. Yup, I know how to pick 'em. Oh, and I'm still calling him.

Anyway I was BOMBED leaving his place the other night and left my backpack on the damn train! Which had, among other things, my iPhone. Luckily, I've got another cell...but the recharger was in the backpack. So how much do these rechargers cost, anyway..?

I started writing a project. I want to go back to school for writing, so it's good I'm throwing myself into it now. I think I can look at the possibility of staying in NYC awhile longer. Time to throw money at Brooklyn College for their application fee. I'm ready. After two years of being a basket case, I'm finally ready to get serious.

But what about my cabaret show?? And do I want to do a play? Should I even consider joining Actor's Equity? Can I multitask this many personalities at once?

One thing at a time. This bitch needs to go to the DMV and get a driver's manual cuz her license expired sometime back in the 90s!

And this bitch needs to work.

My therapist suggested I keep a blog to A) get my thoughts & feelings in order, and B) to establish some sort of routine in my life haha. I guess things are just too loose and free-flowing, which can be Hell on a bipolar mind. How much of myself do I reveal here? My candidness about myself has made me an easy target for judgements. Do I care?

Or rather, How much do I not care?

There is a game-change in action. I've decided to go back to school. This means far less time pursuing a professional acting/singing career. At 44-yrs-old, I don't think this is a bad idea. It's not that I haven't achieved anything, it's just that my life has twice as much meaning since I've become...a conspiracy "realist."

Yup. Game-changer.